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I spend a lot of time writing about how to cut off money leaks, stop spending so much on food, baby gear, a bigger house, and more. But what is all this not spending for? Every money management strategy needs a vision, something to base your financial goals on. But in the everyday of living your life, what do you want to spend money on? What are you happy to spend money on? Knowing the answer to these things will help you more naturally implement a frugal mindset that quickly differentiates between, “yep, this is my thing- it’s important to me” and nope, not my thing, don’t fall for this spending trap!”
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What the Family Money Mentor spends money on
So, in full transparency, what do I, the self-proclaimed frugal, penny pinching, money nerd spend money on, maybe even too much money? I have learned that my spending values center pretty hard on utility, and to the nth degree of it. I don’t like to spend a dime and then I’ll spend lots of dimes for the exact. right. thing. I’ll start off with one example.
Why I bought a $70 lunchbox for my kindergartner
When our first was getting ready for kindergarten, thanks to my usual frugal behaviors, there really wasn’t much that was needed. We ordered the relatively inexpensive PTA box of requested school supplies, we already had a load of hand-me-down clothes and the weather was still summer hot anyway, so my attention was directed towards how he would get himself fed. This was new for us since his various forms of daycare had been supplying his meals during the day for all these years. And I was still a little wary of sending him through the lunch line knowing how long it usually takes him to eat without having to also go order up food, not to mention his nut allergy.
Most would probably head to Target and grab a reasonable looking choice off the shelf. Not me. My lunchbox research led me to the Rover by PlanetBox. In terms of lunch-specific requirements it fulfilled these by reducing/eliminating use of other containers, in that it is a bento style box, it came with accessories that allowed for a leak proof way to carry more liquidy things like yogurt or applesauce, again without having separate disposable packaging, and the real clincher was the five year warranty, all steel construction, dishwasher safe… and actually dishwasher safe because it’s metal and not plastic of any kind.
That was definitely all the checkboxes to get me reaching for the credit card. The icing on the cake for me buying this for a kid’s lunchbox was that for very few dollars you can change out cute magnet sets to stick on the front over time to keep it fun and fresh. The magnets also match the bag that fits around it, which has a pocket for a water bottle and a snack. So this of course made the kiddo happy and it was a really exciting first lunch box! The perfect solution. Therefore, I spend the money. The item that solves the need most completely always gets me.
OK, the price. It was $70… after discounts on PlanetBox’s website. But how does a frugal person like myself justify spending $70 to carry cheese sandwiches and fruit slices? First, let’s break down the costs a bit. I would contend that a lot of families are probably buying $20 or $30 lunchboxes at Target that get beat up scratched, or simply out of fashion, and replaced probably every year, maybe two. So, in the course of six years in grade school, I would think most people are spending $100-$150 in lunchbox gear, not to mention plastic baggies or more expensive pre-portioned out foods to put in less fancy types of lunch boxes. So there is some rationale that my choice might actually be cheaper in the long run.
Also, if I want or need to repurpose the PlanetBox, I can get a fresh set of magnets for $4 or a new bag to make use of it for a different kid or even for myself as an adult. Also, since it is made of steel and has a five year warranty, the box itself could even be resold (just like with certain temporary expensive baby gear) on eBay!
So, although expensive at first glance, for me it’s the right move for a combination of my spending values and the overall long-run cost as I see it. I just really like spending money on something high quality that performs its job the absolute best. That is my joy factor when it comes to spending money. It’s especially enticing that it falls in the category of investing in quality that is flexible enough to be repurposed for anyone in the family if things were to change, or even the box itself to be sold with some amount of value back. The ‘sold items’ listings suggest I could sell it for maybe $20 on eBay, so almost 30% of my money back.
Expensive purchases I was happy to make
A few other examples of things I was thrilled to spend a seemingly large amount of money on in the past includes a Phillips Wake Up Light Alarm Clock. I’ve never been a morning person and pined over a sunrise type alarm clock for many years. I finally got one and it was a life changer for me, totally worth the $100 price tag. Side note, I did buy the open box, factory certified option on Amazon when I got mine to save about $20, but it started malfunctioning shortly after. So Phillips sent me a brand new one free! Now I use the first one as an extra lamp or sunset bedtime light for one of the kids’ rooms.
Our most recent happy spending example was our queen bed Ooler. My husband sleeps hot, I’m always cold. We both have struggled with our sleeping in recent years, even after the kids stopped waking us up. I had eyed the Chili company that makes the Ooler for awhile and saw they came out with an upgraded version of their two-sided bed temperature control system, the ultimate in custom bed temp! (Note: if you decide to purchase an Ooler through my affiliate links in this post, use coupon code OOLER15 to get 15% off)
So, it was time- it was the perfect, best fix. So instead of first trying out a cooling mattress topper or other cheaper, but not quite right gadgets, I resisted for a long time, and then was very happy to drop over $1,000 on the ultimate fix. And it. is. awesome. I sleep at about 82 degrees, slowing dipping to the upper 70s in the wee hours, and then warm up toward morning, and my husband sets his at about 65. Finally temperature harmony! Magical.
I also spend pretty liberally on my sewing hobby- fabric is not cheap. And I invested $1,000 in a year-long course to improve my skills last year. Another example is a nice dinner out. On the rare occasions that we have a sitter and go out to dinner, we pick a great place and I don’t look at the prices on the menu. I spent many years never dining out and, if I did, ordering water and picking the cheapest salad. Now if I’m going to spend dining bucks, I truly spend to enjoy a wonderful meal and time with my husband, including not worrying about the money.
What I don’t like spending money on
Now that you’re seriously questioning my frugal judgement… remember, these are MY spending values which are different even than my husband’s and I have no doubt are different than yours! But now the stuff I hate spending money on, and work very hard to avoid.
First, cars. My husband’s vehicle is very important to him. We bought it with a five year loan, something I disliked even more than that SUV’s price tag! BUT it’s part of his spending values.
As for me, I’m happy to drive a car until the wheels fall off. I’ve driven for 11 years and have only owned three cars in that time. The first I got past 200,000 miles but couldn’t afford to even fix it anymore being totally broke at the tail end of graduate school. (It was to the point I couldn’t even safely drive it on a highway or hit a bump on the passenger side for risk of the wheel literally breaking off). Currently I drive a 14 year old Accord we paid $6,000 cash for and have no plans to replace it until it’s well past 200,000 miles, now that I can afford to fix whatever needs to be addressed to keep it humming along.
Another thing I don’t spend money on is my kids’ clothes. They are very fortunate kids in every respect. No guilt here for clothing them entirely in hand-me-downs from friends and gifts from the grandparents. When they were toddlers and growing rapidly, I even bought most of their shoes used when I had to buy shoes. They just grow too fast and are too hard on stuff. And that’s just me.
Another category I don’t like spending on is groceries and takeout. I keep our groceries suuuper basic. No fancy ingredients, no preportioned yogurts, no brand name anything. Our pantry is like canned tomatoes, tuna, and Aldi brand cheerios. The ‘fridge is all milk, bags of carrots (no pre-wittled baby carrots), celery, tub of plain yogurt (yup, gotta scoop it and doctor it up yourself), and so on.
I just hate spending money on the food basics since they have to be purchased over and over again… though I also have historically struggled with cooking and food prep so these two aspects of my personality (lazy about cooking, but resistant to buy premade/preprocessed stuff) are constantly at war with each other.
I also hate spending money on furniture- it never feels worth the cost. Perhaps I’ll grow out of this one when I don’t have little kids keeping the house consistently destroyed. But for now, IKEA is as fancy as I’ll get with a new furniture purchase, and that’s only if I can’t find that IKEA piece on Craigslist first. I’ve brought home a coffee table off the curb before (it’s solid wood!) and have a repainted china cabinet from a rummage store. Furniture is just not a thing I like investing in.
In conclusion…
Spending values are unique. I like to teach ways to avoid spending traps that we tend to take as a given, find alternatives to spending choices that are not your primary values. This way, you conserve money for the things you truly do value. Our big picture money planning should be targeting those long term big life dreams, to live our best life. But along the way, it’s good to recognize what types of day to day things you enjoy using your money on and the things you feel pretty good about avoiding. I really want to hear about what others enjoy dropping cash on… please add yours to the comments section. I can’t wait to hear them!