Setting the tone for money’s importance in your life is an important step in gaining control of your family finances. I come at money and teaching people about money with a few key beliefs or attitudes.
One, money is a tool to me, nothing more, and not something to be super sensitive about. I view money as a very useful wordly concept to exchange stuff. It isn’t a real, actual thing. It sort of used to be when value was backed by gold, silver, etc. But the dollar we use today is generally not backed by any amount of actual rocks from the earth, and even if it was, well, they’re just rocks. Its value depends on a complex global economic system (read: created by humans = fallable). And in modern life, it’s really more of an amorphic combination of numbers in various datasystems, your banks’ datasystem and your creditors’ datasystems primarily. It’s also not going with us when we die, and we all will die. As such, I don’t generally assign right and wrong to actions with money. Uses of money are never inherently good or bad; they are choices. People make different choices for different reasons; some choices are expensive and others are not. But expensive is not something bad, nor is inexpensive something automatically good.
Uses of money are never inherently good or bad; they are choices.
Now, that said, money is a powerful influencer on our lives. The important trick is to not get lulled into money as an idol but to appreciate what we have and to master the system, play the game, and play it well. Part of money’s influence on our life is super real- safe housing, safe food, medical care, and adequate clothing for ourselves and those that depend on us. And part of that is in our heads- brands, designer labels, and the power of advertising (think Tesla vs Volt), bigger/more is better mentality and the American dream, and generally living in a culture and country that is already so wealthy we can’t even see it anymore. More money and possessions can be an idol just like idolizing lack of possessions could also exist (hyperfocus on extreme minimalism and tiny living perhaps?). So I discuss family finances with that ambivalence, that is is crucial for a good life on Earth (and also to do good for others on Earth), but that money itself means nothing in the eternal perspective. It’s just a really important strategic game one will do well to master and that is what I coach people to do.